Knockout 1: Asian man tornado kicks black dude after rap battle goes awry

This one’s obviously fake, it has an Asian winning a rap battle.

Knockout 2: Roommate knocks out dude for signing in the shower

I hope this one’s fake because I don’t want to live in a world where douchebags with tramp stamps can pull off perfectly executed Bruce Lee kicks every time someone remotely annoys them.

I also hope, for mankind’s sake, that there aren’t people stupid enough out there who will post incriminating evidence of themselves mercilessly knocking out dudes for little or no reason at all. Might as well show up to the police station already in handcuffs then.

Lesson learned: when you have a roommate who looks like he might be on steroids, and one obviously familiar in martial arts, it’s best to try not to annoy him and remain on his good side. Roid rage is real, folks.

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For the first minute and thirty seconds it looked like any Adam Sandler movie of the last 10 years. Weird main character with a shitty accent, whose best parts can be condensed into one little trailer, than he took off sprinting and changed everything. That had to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. And with one little clip it has given me hope that it might actually turn out somewhat better than Bruno. No hope whatsoever that it comes close to Borat.

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this is just my "blow and escort account" i keep hidden from my wife and mistress

Job Overview:  An investment banker will work to generate funds for banks in two different ways. First, the investment banker will produce funds by selling stock within their company. This stock can be sold to employees, corporations or other individuals. The other way investment bankers acquire funds for the bank is by seeking out venture capital. This means that they give money to a starting or growing business in exchange for partial ownership of the company. The company will use this money to grow their business, using the funds to create products, advertise the business and conduct research.

Education: The minimum requirement for an investment banker is a bachelor’s degree. However, most employers will not consider hiring an investment banker without a master’s degree unless they have extensive experience and a superior skill set. An MBA or a degree in finance, banking, investing or accounting is generally required.

Salary: The average starting salary for an investment banker with no experience is $60,200 per year. This is a base salary as investment bankers get substantial bonuses. It is possible for a junior investment banker to earn $90,000 to over $100,000 in their first year after bonuses. The median salary for an investment banker is $162,000 per year in the United States. This is a base salary as well and does not include bonuses. The majority of investment bankers with 5 or more years of experience earn well over $200,000 per year as a base salary.

Perks: Just take a look at the two receipts. One is an ATM statement of Hedge Fund Manager David Tepper; the other is a Hedge Fund Christmas Party bill for 10 people (which includes a £10,000 tip for the server).

24 bottles of vodka, 6 bottles of champagne, 13 bottles of beer, between only 10 people, and they STILL had to pay cover charge!

Lesson learned: if you can’t stand the thought of becoming an investment banker, at least think about getting a job as a server in a high-end/exclusive nightclub.

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Lesson 1: Working out/staying fit is the number one type of preventive medicine we can take. It’s the number one ROI (return on investment), health wise.

Lesson 2: Staying active helps reduce arthritis, dementia and Alzheimer’s, diabetes, anxiety, depression, fatigue, and drastically improves quality of life. All by percentages well into the 30s.

Lesson 3: Half an hour of activity a day is all it takes.

Lesson 4: CRF (cardio respiratory fitness aka low fitness) is the strongest predictor of death.

Lesson 5: Walking is a man’s best medicine.

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*these are all questions that have appeared on Jeopardy!

Let’s see if your parents’ hard earned money has taught you anything:

(Category, Worth)

1. (Lakes and Rivers, $100) River mentioned most often in the Bible.
2. (Lakes and Rivers, $500) World’s largest lake, nearly 5 times as big as Superior.
3. (Inventions, $100) Marconi’s wonderful wireless.
4. (Animals, $400) Close relative of the pig, though its name means river horse.
5. (Actors and Roles, $200) 2 SNL alumni who tried “Trading Places”

Double Jeopardy!

1. (National Landmarks, $200) She came from France to harbour America’s freedom.
2. (National Landmarks, $600) The cornerstone of Massachusetts, it bears the date 1620.
3. (National Landmarks, $800) Site where John Hancock signed his “John Hancock.”
4. (Notorious, $1000) After the deed, he leaped to the stage shouting “Sic semper tyrannis.”
5. (4-Letter Words, $800) It’s the first 4 letter word in “The Star Spangled Banner.”

Final Jeopardy! Category: Holidays

The third Monday in January starting in 1986.

Answers are after the jump.

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"Hey, if you're still alive in there, you wanna grab that drink now?"

The headline says it all. After rejecting four men in the early morning of a Thursday night the car of a group of women was shot up with a “tsunami” of gunfire. One woman was hit in the shoulder while the driver was hit in the head with a bottle. There are no suspects.

Are we as a society getting this bad at handling any type of rejection? We seem to have simply lost our backbones when it comes to overcoming not getting what we want. Football fans crying like little bitches when their teams lose. Teenagers killing themselves over video-games. Everyone turning to drugs (Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil) to escape reality. And now this, attempted mass-murder sprees over a simple “No thank you, I don’t want your dick inside me.”

Here is Adam Carolla breaking down the patheticness of our society:

Lesson 1: It’s because of shit like this that women have to give out fake numbers. Or they just never return your calls.

Lesson 2: Everyone gets rejected for one reason or another. Picking up is a numbers game. Only a sore loser would try to kill someone who rejects them.

Lesson 3: Nothing good ever happens when you hold a gun in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other.

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Tim Tebow "All He Does Is Win" Featuring Skip Bayless

Ok, so it's no Mike Tyson Quote song but it is catchy nonetheless. Plus, it's only a matter of time before we stop worshipping false idols (Apple, Obama, and Tom Cruise) and turn to God's favorite son, Timothy Richard Tebow. So why not start the crusade off with a song about his greatness? 

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