We all know that Halloween is a time for girls to dress (and hopefully, act) as slutty as they possibly can without ever feeling sorry or ashamed for their indiscretions. But it’s also a time for D-List celebrities to dress as whorish as possible in hopes of extending those few extra minutes of fame that seem to be quickly fading. Today we’ll look closer at the latter group.
8. Lauren Conrad.
Yeah… I apologize in advance for referring to her as a “celebrity” but it was slim pickings out there. Also, she won’t be the last Hills “star” to appear on the list. She will however be most annoying one. And if there were more photos out there of Kristen Cavallari Lauren would have been completely left off the list.
7. Coco Austin (AKA Ice-T’s number 1 bitch).
Don’t know much about her. Don’t care to find out much about her. She has a big ass, likes to dress up in costumes, and likes showing off that ass on twitter. So she makes the list.
6. Mariah Carey.
Isn’t it funny how most of the costumes we’ve seen Mariah in have been all from the past few years when her career’s been floundering worse than the opening weekend of any of her husband’s movies. Zing! But for someone over 40, kinda fat at times, and completely fucking crazy, she still looks relatively good.
5. Heidi Klum.
She doesn’t fit into the same category as all the other girls on this list. Most are attention whores, with little or no fame, or trying desperately to hold onto it with every last ounce of strength. And most dress like sluts. Heidi on the other hand is simply a Halloween enthusiast and if it was anyone but Mrs. Klum she wouldn’t have made the list due to lack of whorishness her costumes exude. But it is Heidi Klum. And even under all that blackness and that scarred ugly face I can still only see her in a tiny bikini frolicking on some deserted beaches as pubescent little boys masturbate in the ocean while watching her from afar. BTW I'm talking about Seal, not her Dracula costume.
4. Audrina Patridge.
This is a 1 in a Million type of girl. Not because she breathtakingly beautiful but because plastic surgery actually did what it was supposed to for once and made her look better than she ever was before, which usually never happens (http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/).
3. Kendra Wilkinson.
A walking enigma. Watch her talk or do anything on TV and you can’t help but cringe with repulsion. Watch her pose for a photo-shoot or see her in a magazine spread and it’s a whole other story. Hot young blonde bombshell with fake titties and seductive eyes daring you to remain flaccid.
2. Stacy Keibler.
Usually anyone who fucks George Clooney is an automatic number 1 on any list. And as much as I worship Clooney’s ever expanding resume of ass there is one other quality I still hold in higher regard…
1. Kim Kardashian.
Her addiction for attention is our gain, at least for another few more years before she becomes a rolling bowling ball of silicone and fat. But even then we’ll have her slutty little getups to look back on fondly. She’s number one for two reasons. No one else has come even close to wearing this many different slutty outfits in such a short period of time. 2. We’ve all seen her suck dick.
Now before you start writing in wondering why your favourite whore didn’t make the list, there’s a reason. There weren’t enough pictures of her in her slutty little costumes.
She’s a supermodel that likes to pose in sexy little Halloween costumes. What else is there to say? Which is also the main reason she’s not on the actual list. She’s paid to dress slutty.
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